People often compromise themselves in relationships rather than revealing what is really true from their perspective, because they don’t believe it could possibly work out if everyone did that.
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People often compromise themselves in relationships rather than revealing what is really true from their perspective, because they don’t believe it could possibly work out if everyone did that. What people often associate with safety, stability and comfort is actually retreating from engaging in life, into a world they believe they can control. The question is what you are committed to. From a shallow kind of perspective, people can be committed to what makes them feel good in the moment. And so when things get difficult they just leave. On the other side of the pendulum … People often go along with what’s happening around them as if that’s just the way things are, not realizing that they are letting themselves be controlled by other people’s energy. That’s very, very different than going with the flow of life. We are in a transition period, moving into taking personal responsibility for the world each of us is creating. We can no longer afford to blame it on what the other person is doing. It’s not about what the person wants that’s the issue, but what is motivating him wanting it. If it’s substituting for some emotional need that he doesn’t have access to receiving, because he doesn’t have the channels open, it won’t work and will conflict with you. What’s more important than taking certain actions, or changing your behavior in relation to her, is changing your insides. The internal dilemmas the younger generations are encountering are on a much more evolved level, and are more in tune with present-moment experience, than that of many of their parents. Out of fear of losing this security, people lock themselves into a particular form, rather than paying attention to and evolving whatever is really true between them, as well as growing and evolving themselves. If, instead of having a knee jerk negative response to his input, you can step back and investigate whatever might be true in what he is presenting to you, then yes… useful insights as a result… |
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Copyright © 2012 Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen - All Rights Reserved |
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