Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

The issue here is who or what is defining your experience of reality. Is it being defined from outside yourself or from inside yourself? In the old paradigm it was your boss, and the structure of the company, that was defining what your value was, according to how well you fit into what serves the interests of the company and/or the people who control it. … But this definition of value is limited by the particular perspectives of the people who control it. It is therefore defined by a human construct, which is not necessarily aligned with what is inherently true. Human constructs can’t define your actual value.

When you get to the bottom of what is true between people, it always is love. That is what is underneath the separation, the fear, the anger, and the pain. But most people are so daunted by the dragon at the gateway to coming together with the other, they never find that out.

People often compromise themselves in relationships rather than revealing what is really true from their perspective, because they don’t believe it could possibly work out if everyone did that.

What’s more important than taking certain actions, or changing your behavior in relation to her, is changing your insides.

“…You have a dysfunctional pattern held in place, which has to do with you being a target and people attacking you, and that that’s the way the world is around you…”

“…The person outside there will never accommodate the reality you want them to have because you’re picking this exact person that wouldn’t do that. And then you try to change them…”

“Taking the action is not the most important thing. The important thing is to straighten out whatever is causing the conflict about the action…”

“…You can’t make a relationship work from a place of lies, or from a place of being untrue to yourself. It’s against the laws of reality. It’s against the laws of truth…”

“… You are not meant to look like other people, thank God. There is something very amazing and special about you. You are so present in some way, so vulnerably true to who you are…”

“…Each of you are struggling to be in control of defining reality, as if you need the other person to agree with your reality, and they need you to agree with theirs…”