Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

“And as you are standing in the truth of what the situation is and what really needs to be done, the more you will be listened to. And then your job is to help guide your child to be connected to reality and truth as well, so that they, also, can see what needs to be done and so they’re not just being told what to do by a parent authority.”

“Your parents created an impossible scenario because of their unhealed issues, not because of anything inherent in the situation. … But you made the limiting decision that your needs are not important. And the way you’ve compensated for that decision is your defense system of having to be perfect.”

“There’s a plus and minus for a man feeling he has to be the sole provider. The plus (which is not in reality) is carrying this heavy load is something he can get mastery of, something he can feel in control of, so it makes him feel powerful.”

“Your parents probably had an attitude that it’s a moral mandate that you must do what your parents tell you to do. You must be obedient, no matter what they say, just for the sake of being obedient, rather than look at what they’re saying, make sense of it and decide, ‘OK, this is how they feel about it. Does this make sense for me?’ This dictates that you must not understand life from your own perspective, your own understanding of what is true and real, in order for you parents to have control over you. And this basically is what is handed down from generation to generation.”

“Besides specific, individual limiting decisions, there are limiting decisions that permeate entire cultures, and those that are global, representing where humanity has evolved at that particular point-in-time. Our collective limiting decisions affect the whole social concept of how to earn a living, how to keep social order, how to raise children, etc. These ways of being in life are substitutes for Divine Truth, separating humanity from what really matters to us.”