Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

The problem isn’t those who take advantage of other people; it is what causes those other people to give their power away and let themselves be manipulated.

“In relationships, people often try to compromise themselves or change the other person in order to make things work between them. And when that doesn’t work and they get fed up enough, they just cut the relationship off…”

“…in order to facilitate the level of reframe necessary for significant change it’s necessary to hold in place a consistent spiritual knowing about the positive nature of life…”

“…When the illusion of reality that most people live in, that they think is what is really supporting them, when they go past it, it seems to be a really big transition. It is about shifting survival systems.”

“This huge burden is what you are focusing on, and is what the group is having to carry with you, as we listen to you. And this is the way you have structured your world. But this is not what reality is about.”

“(Randy was saying that he feels fed up with the relationship. He doesn’t want to live like this any more, and is ready to leave.) The issue here is about dialogue. When people finally come to the point where they can no longer deny how they really feel, they often just decide to leave, which is not giving anything a chance to actually work.”

“Men can tend to lean on invulnerable logic, as if that gives them some mastery, rather than being in a place where you just allow things to be what they are — a more organic place where you are feeling things, you are experiencing things, and the black and white mastery is not so important. Being present and in the feeling, growing, learning, evolving, transforming is more of a female thing.”

“What we’re creating in this group, is pushing you through your defense systems. So we’re pushing Aaron out of his defense system, where he can experience the truth when he is not defended. That’s very transformational. What is happening now (for Aaron), is that you feel that the only way you are acceptable is if you are perfect. Well this group is representing to you a completely different reality, that this being ‘perfect’ is what is unacceptable, because it is not real. And that when you reveal where you really are, that’s what draws people close to you. So the group represents a different reality, and as we push people out of the defense structures, that can shift your experience of reality. That’s the point.”

“Where I’m trying to move you to is something that is a very high level of functioning. You could say it’s the main shift that humanity is moving toward. It’s moving from having your sense of reality defined by something outside of you, by a perceived authority as if it defines what is true — versus direct experience, directly coming from an internal plumb line, a place of being present and available in the present moment, and knowing what is true, which comes from, you could say, an open channel.”

“With you it’s more of a male-female dynamic. You easily gain mastery in the male arena. You’re good at that. What you are not good at doing is in the female arena, which is being present, being seen, being vulnerable, being gotten to, being related to, being touched, inter-meshing with other people, mixing it up. You’ve been living in a false world with a false self, and having false things that give you false pleasure. In other words, the real things that really matter to you are what you feel deeply sad about, because you don’t think you can possibly have them because of limiting decisions you have made.”