Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

Regardless of the external circumstances, being a victim has to do with attitude and interpretation.

Most children start out viewing their parents basically as God, because they are physically and emotionally dependent on their parents for their well-being and survival. But when children run into a conflict where something traumatic happens that shakes their perception of reality about themselves in relation to their parents, they then generally contract into making a generalized limiting decision* about those they are dependent on.

For any relationship to work, each person must be coming from what truly matters to them, or there is no solid foundation for it. Ultimately the only relationship we are in is between ourselves and a larger or Universal Truth.

When you get to the bottom of what is true between people, it always is love. That is what is underneath the separation, the fear, the anger, and the pain. But most people are so daunted by the dragon at the gateway to coming together with the other, they never find that out.

What people often associate with safety, stability and comfort is actually retreating from engaging in life, into a world they believe they can control.

We are in a transition period, moving into taking personal responsibility for the world each of us is creating. We can no longer afford to blame it on what the other person is doing.

It’s not about what the person wants that’s the issue, but what is motivating him wanting it. If it’s substituting for some emotional need that he doesn’t have access to receiving, because he doesn’t have the channels open, it won’t work and will conflict with you.

What’s more important than taking certain actions, or changing your behavior in relation to her, is changing your insides.

The internal dilemmas the younger generations are encountering are on a much more evolved level, and are more in tune with present-moment experience, than that of many of their parents.

The reason you see only those two choices is because the ground you are standing on is limited and structured by limiting decisions that filter in only the information that supports the limiting decisions, and not anything that doesn’t.