Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings during the
“Shifting into Your New Consciousness” group experience 4/16/09

(Names of participants are changed to protect their privacy.)

(Randy said that his wife is no longer accusing him of being passive-aggressive and they haven’t been fighting this past week. This is the first time since he has been in the group that this has been true.)

(To Randy) “Before people start really revealing truth, they often have to get to the place where they feel resignation about the situation. ‘I give up. I’ll just put out the truth because things can’t get any worse.’ And this is living proof for you, that truth works. People don’t give the truth, because they’re afraid that it’s going to blow things up. But if anything has the chance to work, it can only really work if you start with truth. And you are finally being truthful to your wife and it’s having a good result. The reason you are not being passive-aggressive any more is because you are now out there expressing what you think. Whereas before you wouldn’t do that so you were doing these undermining kinds of things, which is the chicken way out.

Last week you were feeling uncomfortable about the exercise we did because you were afraid of the emotions that would come up, that things would blow up. (Randy said he ended up feeling great about it. He was afraid people might actually become violent, but it turned out really great and connecting.) So I think your problem in relation to your wife is you have been so afraid of her emotions, you have been too afraid to tell her the truth. But you’re beginning to see that emotions are not dangerous, but that somehow you gave the emotions more power than they actually have, as if they are defining truth. And that’s been shifting for a while now. Maybe in the last group, experiencing that emotions are not dangerous, helped this week be much better for you.

A person relating from a place of emotional ugliness or hatred or anger, or whatever, creates a certain vibration that creates a certain reality. And then other people have a choice of whether to engage on that level of things; or instead have a strong sense of their own internal energy as distinct from that, and relate from that place. And you have not before recognized that you can relate and vibrate and respond from a different reality than the ugliness that the other person is representing in that moment.

(Jocelyn said that she has always sensed that Randy has a great deal of anger in him, and still does.) That’s an interesting point because if some else is vibrating in anger, the only reason that you can be pulled into it is if you have that vibration somewhere in you that resonates with it. If you don’t, you won’t be pulled into the anger. And partially this whole thing with your wife is to let you know that there is some of that rage inside of you that you’re haven’t been dealing with.”

Transcript Excerpt of Jane’s Teachings
during Janine’s NLP TimeLine Therapy Session 4-6-09

(For information about TimeLine Therapy, click here.)

(For Janine functioning is very difficult. She does everything very slowly, and gets very little done in relation to the effort she puts out. She spends a lot of time on her appearance, and on doing things in a way that will look good to others.)

It appears you are not directly relating to whatever you are doing. You are not directly participating in life. Instead you are doing an intermediary step, where there is someone else imagined in the picture who is judging you, and you are meeting their criteria with every step you take, to make sure it’s good enough, from that outer judgment. And so you are relating to them, rather than the actual thing you are supposedly doing.

(Janine was saying she feels not good enough.) Not good enough for who? Not good enough for what? Who is judging that? There’s some external standard you are relating to and trying to satisfy that has nothing to do with your direct experience and therefore causing you to not function well.

(Janine easily feels overwhelmed when she has too much to do and for other unclear reasons. Janine said her mother also gets overwhelmed. They both try to hold back feeling overwhelmed.) The feeling of overwhelm that your mother was holding back was being overwhelmed by truth, by life. Both of your parents were holding in place how they should react to life, which didn’t coincide with how they actually did react to life. Your mother was trying to hold back who she is, her actual responses. And the effect that life would have on her, which would bring truth to the table, is very different than the ridged ideology and moral rigidity that your parents were holding in place. So basically they used constantly working, and every second occupying their consciousness, to hold in place this other frame-of-reference, in order to hold back truth. So it’s not that life is overwhelming, it’s the trying to hold back truth that is overwhelming. It can’t be done. And it shouldn’t be done. There is no benefit from holding back life from affecting and changing and transforming and evolving you.

The thing you are holding back is letting life engage with you, so it will bring you true experience, rather than the rigidity that your mother was hell-bent in holding in place. Her father before her was apparently doing that also, which ended up in him having a nervous break down.

But you are perfectly capable of letting life affect you. You are an evolutionary step further than your mother was. You are not wanting to hold in place the ridged belief system that she held in place. You are ready for a more evolved experience of life. The fear of being overwhelmed by truth is a leftover from her. It has nothing to do with you. You are not invested as she was in holding in place a ridged ideology. The truth is you can’t combat truth from overwhelming you. It’s supposed to overwhelm you because it’s supposed to transform you. It’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. It frees you.”