Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

Transcript Excerpt of Jane’s Teachings
during the “Shifting into your New Consciousness” group 7-30-09

(Participants’ names are changed to protect their privacy.)

(To Chas) “The way it works is after you made the limiting decision that who you are is unacceptable, you then built up a false persona that is what you considered to be acceptable to the people you wanted to be acceptable to.  These will be people similar to the original significant people in your life you made the liming decision in relation to.  Those are then the kind of people who you will attract.  You will attract people who are attracted to the false persona, not who you really are.  And then if you try to relate to those people with your real self, they’re probably not going to have a positive response to you, because they fit a whole scenario in which the real you is not acceptable, so that’s how they’re going to respond to you. You’re selecting people who will respond positively, perhaps, to the substitute persona that you set up, depending upon what the structure is that the limiting decision is formed around.  So as you start changing, and becoming more of who you are, you are very likely to find that the people you attracted with the false persona don’t fit you any more. But you’re also more likely to be open to people who actually like you.  I think everybody in this group really likes you.”

… “It’s similar to what I have said to Janet many times before, because both of you are very emotionally vulnerable.  Your real strength probably has to do with you coming into your vulnerable emotions and accepting them, stepping into them. And this is a foundation from which to build whatever you want to build, whether it’s your law practice, or your relationships with you family, or whatever it is.  It’s where your gifts and strengths are.  You probably don’t realize the power of your vulnerable emotions.

(To Janet) To you, if it comes from male logic, you think that’s the only way you’ll have the right to make waves, or the only way you’ll be taken seriously.  Then you have the right to have an influence in the world.  But that’s not the way you’re going to make waves.  You are going to make waves with the power of your emotions, because that’s where your strength is.  Emotions are very powerful, and you may be afraid of that.  And it will have an influence, and you may be afraid of that.  What you just said is you’ll be held to a higher level of conduct, and I think that’s what you could be afraid of.  You have said before that once you start getting into your passion, what it is that you want, you’re afraid you going to be like a dictator, and make things all the way you want.  And this perhaps relates in some indirect way, to a higher standard of conduct.  There’s some misconception that’s in the mix of this, that’s confusing the matter for you.

What is also the mix, which it might also be important to you, Chas, is enlightened self-interest.  It’s a very important concept.  When we’re talking about power and we’re talking about what matters to you. When we’re taking about your passion, and about really getting out there in your power — then the issue of self-interest comes into the picture.  It’s important to understand the distinction between self-interest as a defense system, which is what selfishness is — and enlightened self-interest, which is what really matters to you, and which is in alignment with life, the universe.  If it really matters to you, then that is the truth.  It either matters to you, or it doesn’t matter to you. That’s just a fact.  So that makes it a part of larger truth.  If you make the limiting decision that you can’t have what matters to you, whether it’s love, or acceptance, or being valuable, that’s where things get confused.  Generally before you make the limiting decision having these things are not an issue.  You just go toward what makes you happy, what matters to you. But after you make the limiting decision, for instance, that you’re not valuable, then being valuable becomes an issue.  Since you then don’t think you’re valuable, then you do symbolic things that make you feel you are valuable, such as buy an expensive house or car, whether or not you can really afford it.  So people go for these symbolic things.  But these symbolic things are not what really matters to you.  People think, ‘Oh I want this, I want that, I want that, and that’s self-interest.’  But that’s not what enlightened self-interest is.  Enlightened self-interest is the real thing, not the symbol.  If you’re going for the real thing, then it can only have a positive influence on everyone and every thing, because it’s in Divine order.  It is truth. It is the way things really are.  But when you’re going for something that is a symbolic substitute, and not what you really want, then it comes from a blocked and distorted perspective, and that puts you out of alignment with truth. And then somewhere down the line, it’s going to not turn out well, because it’s not in alignment with truth.”

Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings
during a “Shifting into Your New Consciousness” group 6-25-09

(Clients’ names are changed to protect their privacy)

(To the group) “Generally what happens (in the model I use), is every time a person makes a limiting decision, they are building up an alternative self. They’re building up a self to relate out in the world with, that they feel would be acceptable, and that works well, or at least relatively well, in the world. Every person here has done that. I would say just about every person in the world has done that to some degree unless you are an enlightened master. And then the idea is to master that persona so that you’re successful out in the world and in relationships. But for many people, that way of being eventually crashes, perhaps showing up in mid-life crisis or in various other problems, because it’s very separated from the real self, and any real meaning in life.

Now, some people just can’t develop a very effective persona. It just doesn’t work well. I think it’s a matter of the particular path you chose in this lifetime. It’s probably more of a challenge to come in with a personality so different than the norm, so that you can’t just blend into the acceptable thing. A false persona that would fit in, turns out to be too incongruous for you. This can cause you to be a part of an evolutionary process, because probably what we’re talking about is not only different, but more evolved. And this can be a challenge for the people around you, because in order for you to come out as your self, you have to basically break through an old mold, and there’s going to be resistance, because it’s not comfortable for other people. And so it is not an easy path. But it is, in terms of your own soul’s evolution, a very important thing to do. And you’re contributing to the evolution of humanity in general by doing it. And despite whatever degree of difficulty it brings you, it is a relief to your soul, to be out there more and more expanding the expression of who you are. The soul cries for that, the soul must express itself. So the more you do that, the more of a relief it actually is to your soul.

(Melanie was saying she finally let her real self out when she spewed out her anger at her son who had been abusing her.)

(To Melanie) “What you’re letting out is not the real you either. It’s another level of your defense system. It sounds like you’re coming from a disempowered or victim kind of a place, so what you’re doing is you’re revealing how the disempowered you feels, which is probably revealing more than you were revealing before. But the real you is not a disempowered victim at all. There are limiting decisions in there which are causing the structure of how you relate to your son, causing a certain kind of dynamic between the two of you. And so your upper-most defense system is to have a big wall up there. You don’t say anything until you explode, and the explosion is not the real self either. It’s showing more of what is going on under the surface, but there’s probably some decision that there’s something wrong with the real self, so you don’t show it.”

Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings during the
“Shifting into Your New Consciousness” group experience 4/23/09
(Participants’ names have been changed to protect their privacy.)

(Renee was saying she sees Janet as making huge progress, but Janet never seems to realize it.)

“I think you (Janet) being hard on yourself and not recognizing when you make significant progress, relates to this decision you have about not knowing. It has to do with you not appreciating your real gift. You’re always comparing yourself to some other that you respect, that’s not you. And until you get to be that thing that you respect that’s not you, you don’t feel you’ve gotten anywhere. But of course the truth is, since it’s not you, if you got there, it wouldn’t be a good thing anyway. It wouldn’t be progress at all. It would be just the way we described Aaron and the mask of perfection he has been so invested in. He has thought to achieve that would be progress. Both of you have worked really, really hard at being something you consider more perfect than who you really are. But the ego and the Divine versions of perfection are radically different. Divine perfection is becoming more and more fully who you really are.”