Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

Who is defining reality for you: Part 2

From the “Life is Meant to Work” teleseminar:

If, when you are a child, a bucket falls and hits you on the head, it may physically hurt just the same as a sadistic school bully punching you in the face.  The bucket scenario is just a physical event involving an inanimate object, with no trauma involved.  Once it’s over it doesn’t exist anymore for you.

But, in the scenario with the bully, if this is the first event in which you have been confronted with this kind of experience, you may have made a limiting decision* (see definition below).  And if you did, you have now locked in the fearful and disempowered interpretation of reality you have just made, based on how the bully’s sadistic emotions and intent affected you.  Your feeling of disempowerment is based on taking on the bully’s defining of reality, the emotional energy he is putting out.  This is what causes the trauma you end up feeling.  You are letting another person define your experience of reality, rather than interpret your experience from within yourself, standing in your own present moment experience. You are confusing his physical impact on you, with his emotional influence.  His physical power in relation to you is minor in comparison with the emotional power you have now given him.

The real danger is not the physical action someone might take that would be harmful to us, but it is the distorting of reality that is transferred, like a computer virus hidden within a Trojan horse.  It is a defining of reality that represents for example — fear, hatred, division, conflict, pain, deception — everything that is the opposite of spiritual truth.  And because this distorting of reality is non-physical, we always have the choice of whether to take it on or not.  But it takes making the distinction between what is actually physically happening, and the emotional interpretation that we are attaching to it.  It is the emotional interpretation that causes us to give our power away, and blind ourselves to what really is happening, and therefore walk toward harm. What I mean by walking toward harm, is putting yourself in energetic alignment with being a weak victim.  Our emotional interpretation is what is doing the real damage.

*Limiting decision: A decision made in early childhood that is some form of that life doesn’t work, and usually that there is something inherently wrong with you — such as “I am powerless,” “bad,” “without value;” or “The world is a dangerous place,” “People can’t be trusted,” and so on.

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