Q & A: Living in the Heart of Love
This is a part of the “Ask Jane” Series,
in which Jane answers questions
you email to her that of concern to you.
(Names are changed to protect your privacy.)
Just go to the “Contact Jane” page
and ask your question in the contact form.
I addressed the below question in the previous “Ask Jane.” In this “Ask Jane” I’m addressing it from a different perspective in relation to how it actually came up.
Lita: “I’m in a really great relationship with a man now, and things are going really well. But I keep feeling afraid something will go wrong, and he will end up leaving. I’m concerned because of this fear I’ll try to control things with him, that will actually cause him to leave.”
This question originally came up in Lita’s TimeLine session. And the limiting decision at the core of this question turned out to be “I’m not good enough to have the relationship I want.” The originating event was many lifetimes ago, and she was a woman in her late 30′s and she wanted this big, strong, handsome man in her village, but he wouldn’t have her, because she wasn’t pretty enough, or young enough. And she wasn’t interested in any of the other men. It just seemed that there was no one for her.
Jane (in the context of teaching during the learning part of the process): “The issue here is what is it that you really want? What you’re really wanting is the Divine. What you’re really wanting is the essence of the Universe, that may be shining through this particular person. And so it’s never an attachment to the person himself that is what you’re really wanting. It’s the heart of intimacy, the heart of love. And you can get that in a lot of different places. You’re wanting love, and love is everywhere. You find it through many, different sources, when you are a conduit for it. When you are in that vibration, you’ll naturally attract it. It’s not about having to have that man in order to be happy. When you are in that vibration it’s an allowing of what’s true, which then allows the right person to come into your life, without the pressure or weight being on him.
But when you’re coming from the limiting decision that you can’t have what you want, you are needing to grab something that you believe you can’t have, which is controlling. And inherent in it is loss. It’s coming from a place where you don’t have it, so that then is the reality you are creating. From that place you can never get it. And then whatever you can get, you don’t want.”
After the limiting decision was cleared: The way Lita then experienced her situation in that life time was that she could see good qualities in many of the men in her community, and many men were attracted to her, and it no longer seemed like an impossible situation. And so then she was open to what was really there for her.
And in terms of her present reality situation, she no longer felt that fear that her boyfriend might leave.
