Q & A “Why Can’t People Just Love each Other?”
This is a part of the “Ask Jane” Series,
in which Jane answers questions
you email to her that of concern to you.
(Names are changed to protect your privacy.)
Just go to the “Contact Jane” page
and ask your question in the contact form.
(This was from Fellow Healer in New York who made this comment in the context of his description of an ex-girlfriend’s treatment of him, and also the way he observes people, including new age-type people, acting toward others.)
Fellow Healer: “… ACIM says the only sane response to our brother, even when they act out, is to love him. No holy book says lecture, scold, and runaway. No heart would say that either…. True self needs love too. It’s all one. When we love all in the trinity, then all flows. Now is the time to return to love. Love. Just love. Love is the secret!!!”
Jane: Yes, of course, the answer always comes down to love. It’s certainly an important place to focus our attention, and it would be great if everyone could just decide on love and be there. But getting to love is an evolutionary process (both on a personal, individual level, as well as on a human evolutionary level). The path to love isn’t always obvious or straightforward. Many things people think they do out of love are not really about love.
For instance, in your earlier email about you being “loyal” to the first girlfriend, therefore staying with that relationship (even though you knew it wasn’t right for you), and saying “no” to the second girlfriend (who you really wanted to be with) — it appears you felt you were doing this out of love or kindness to the first girlfriend. But since it was not in truth, it was not in Divine order. And it was not following enlightened self-interest. And enlightened self-interest is an extremely necessary ingredient in order to be moving toward love. (But that’s another whole subject altogether.) So it’s not necessarily that obvious or straightforward. There are a lot of elements potentially involved.
The way to solve human hurt is to move toward clarity about what is really happening in reality. Therefore there’s no getting around the fact that in order to eliminate your emotional pain, your personal transformation is required. There is no short cut that will have a lasting result.
