Love Rather than Co-Dependence
During Melanie NLP TimeLine Session 8-24-09
(Client’s name is changed to protect her privacy.)
The limiting decision Melanie cleared during TimeLine Therapy: “Other people’s needs are more important than hers.”
The first event in which she made the limiting decision: The second month in the womb. She felt her mother’s frustration, upset, and anger. She felt so sorry for her. Her life has been so hard. She feels her mother’s fear of having a child. So Melanie keeps trying to give to her, and is only focused on giving her what she needs, instead of her own needs. She feels her own needs would be too much for her mother.
Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings during the TimeLine Process: “The real issue here is that you loved your mother, and love is what you had to give her. You couldn’t solve her problems. You couldn’t solve the fear, frustration, or pain, because that was of her own creating. That was her own path. That was what she needed to be working through in her lifetime. And trying to take it from her, or do it for her is a co-dependent process. But what’s fueling it is love. You were a loving, loving being and this was your idea of expressing love to her, giving her what you thought she needed. But what you could give her, which would benefit both you and her, is expressing love. Whether or not she had the channel open to receive your love is not your responsibility. You expressing love to her leaves you free to feel your own needs. Whatever needs you have is a part of your living organism. That is just truth. And because it is truth, it a part of Divine expression. And trying to block your own needs is blocking the Divine flow of things. It is moving you out of truth, and that causes a distortion in your experience, and it doesn’t help her. What your mother was expressing that she wanted was a substitute for what she really needed, and therefore a distortion of truth. It was a part of her dysfunctional structure of life, and so if you had been able to give it to her, you would just be contributing to feeding that dysfunctional reality she was locking herself into.
So the only thing that was there for you to do toward your mother was love her. The truth is, underneath most pain really is love, and this is a really good example of that. What’s underneath your sadness in relation to your mother was love and is still love.”
