Trying to Change Other People
Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings
during a “Shifting into Your New Consciousness” Group 7-9-09
(Participants’ names are change to protect their privacy.)
(Melanie was saying she always picks the wrong men to get involved with and then she tries to change them. But they never change.)
(To Melanie) “The reason that you want to change them is because you’re leaning on their interpretation of reality for your stability. The kind of person that you pick to be in this role is going to be a person who has similar dynamics to your parents (or whoever it is that you made the limiting decision in relation to). So they symbolize them. And you made your decision based on the idea that your parents were representing reality or truth. And so now you find someone similar and try to get them to change their mind so you can have a different interpretation of truth. Well you’re not going to get it from them because you picked someone who represents that dysfunctional description of reality. The change has to happen inside of yourself. And the way you change your interpretation of reality is by clearing the limiting decision. The limiting decision is what’s distorting your experience of reality. The person outside there will never accommodate the reality you want them to have because you’re picking this exact person that wouldn’t do that. And then you try to change them. And then you decide after years and years of trying to do that that you can’t change anybody. Well the whole thing you’re trying to do in the first place is out of kilter. It would never work, and it wouldn’t solve the problem even if you could brow beat the person into saying what you want them to. It wouldn’t change things because you’re still holding in place the dysfunctional reality, because of the limiting decision. Once you clear the limiting decision, you’ll have no need to try to change anybody.”
