Shifting the Ground You are Standing On
Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s teachings
during Melanie’s NLP TimeLine Therapy Session 7-13-09
(Melanie was saying that when Jane is talking to her in the group, it’s like she’s talking Greek. She can’t take it in at all.)
“The reason this is difficult for you to take in, is you have a whole structure set up about how you interpret reality. And you’re very invested in it, because of the limiting decisions that you’re protecting. And I am dissembling it. I am talking to you and responding to you in a whole different frame-of-reference. And that’s why it’s like Greek to you. I’m not talking the same language, because the language that you’re talking in is holding in place the dysfunctional structure, which is holding in place the pain — lots and lots and lots of pain! It feels to you, probably, that you’re having to give up some kind of control, because this is what’s giving you a sense of power, because you KNOW you’re being a victim. Almost everything you say is in the framework that someone is abusing you, someone is victimizing you. And you’re so invested in it. My definition of a victim is a person who is not taking responsibility for how they are using their power. It’s not possible for anyone to be powerless. It is just a question of how you are using your power. You are using it, with great force, to prove that you are being victimized by other people.
(Melanie is saying this process is really hard for her. She didn’t want to come to the session today.)
“You deserve really great credit for participating in this process because it is so against the structure that you have built. It is a huge shift for you. But the way you’ve been living your life is so painful, it is more painful than the process of shifting it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be willing to do it, because this no doubt feels like jumping off a cliff for you.”
…
“The fact that you believe that letting your real feelings out is dangerous, causes your relationship with people to be distorted, including with your son. So there’s a lot that’s happening that he’s responding to, and it’s not in your conscious awareness — which isn’t to say that he doesn’t have huge limiting decisions himself, and isn’t seeing things in relation to you in a distorted way. But both of you have a lot of unhealed issues coming in, swirling around, messing the whole relationship up.
The defense systems and counter-defense systems, the things that you do to substitute for other things all seem in reality to you because of the limiting decisions. And you probably are not conscious of the machinations and the complicated dance you’re doing to compensate for the limiting decisions. You do it all underground like it doesn’t exist, while you’re trying to do something else. And you’re not aware that what you’re doing is having an effect out in the world. People are responding to it. You think you’re just defending yourself against reality, the way you think reality is, which is distorted because of the limiting decisions.”
