Bennet’s Journey to Financial Abundance 6-1 & 6-30-09
Highlights of Bennet’s NLP TimeLine Therapy Session with Jane 6-1-09
Overview: Bennet didn’t get started on his most immediate business project because he spent his time painting his house in order to get it done before his partner [Susan] got back from her trip, because she’s allergic to wet paint. He feels like he’s treading water rather than doing what is most important. Before when he was able to earn a lot of money, it was to prove to his mother he could do anything, because she kept trying to get him to follow accepted career paths, with the idea that that’s the only way to succeed. This gave him the idea that he has to do things within the rules authorities create in order to survive. The message was be a regular person, play it safe, play it by rules that he never agreed to or with. And the rules serve the business owners and the government, not him.
Transcript Excerpt of Jane’s teachings during the process of clarifying what the limiting decision is: “There is something larger than whether the symbolic mother accepts you or not. You are limiting yourself to a limited world that you think will be different enough so that it will finally accept the real you — with people who have also limited their lives to a large degree because they don’t feel that their selves are really acceptable either. You are limiting yourself to the fringes, which is why illegal things appeal to you, and things you have to keep hidden appeal to you, because anything that is connected to the whole, above-board picture that people are out in the open with, you are certain you won’t be acceptable in that arena. Because of this belief, you’re blocking a lot of your potential and a lot of possibilities in your life.
But it’s not that there’s an actual thing out there that you have to conform to. And it’s not as if these ‘people that don’t accept you’ are ruling the world. These are all social constructs. There is a larger framework that exists beyond any human construct, and beyond the limited construct that you have been trying to distort yourself around — which your true self totally fits into. And it has to do with what is inherently true about and between human beings, and is what humanity has been evolving toward.”
(Bennet is saying that approval from the world at large doesn’t have the same pull for him as approval from Susan.)
“That’s because the assumption that you’re coming from is you’d have to distort yourself to get approval from the world at large. Whereas the reason you’re with a person like Susan is because she doesn’t fit into the world either. Part of what draws you to her is your common being on the outsides. The reason approval is in the picture at all, is there’s got to be a limiting decision about you lacking approval or acceptance. And when that’s cleared, approval won’t be any issue at all. The small frame-of-reference you have been limiting yourself to is too small for you.
Perhaps your weight may be part of the construct you have created to identify yourself with the non-conformist world, basically by making yourself not fit in. You are doing a number of different things in your life for the purpose, on an unconscious level, of not fitting in, or rebelling against having to fit in — and instead forming, you could say, a click or group of non-conformists that clearly don’t fit into the world. But inherent in that frame-of-reference is a huge limitation, and it’s not a real acceptance of your real self. So you have been disempowering yourself, and probably a lot of the people that you associate with are disempowered in some basic ways as well. Maybe part of your work when you get on the other side of this, is to facilitate other people, similar to yourself, in coming into their power and really fully participating in the world.”
The limiting decision Bennet cleared through the TimeLine process: “If his real self shows it will be disapproved of.”
The first event in which Bennet made this decision: He was 6 years old. His father was giving him a hard time because he got a “B” on a paper instead of an “A.” His father told him he was an A student, not a B student, and he wouldn’t be bringing home any more B’s. Previous to this Bennet had enjoyed school and learning, and had naturally done well. Now he felt that he couldn’t just be directly in his experience because it might not fit into some unreasonable external expectation and who he really is would be rejected. He decided that he couldn’t let his father know who he really is any more or he might do something else stupid, and felt his survival would be threatened.
Benet’s NLP TimeLine Therapy Session 6-30-09
Overview: Bennet told Jane that he felt disappointed in himself because, although he’s making progress, he hasn’t gotten his first project off of the ground yet. He has in his mind a certain order in which he can do things. So before he can do what he really wants to do, there is a whole list of things that he has to do first, in a particular order, and it seems never ending. And he has the sense that the way he’s doping it is not very efficient, and there must be a better and more encompassing way to approach reaching his goals.
Transcript Excerpt of Jane’s Teachings in the process of getting to what the limiting decision to clear is: “We’re talking about a disconnection from your own experience, from your own impetus and goal to getting somewhere — as if there’s some external being or force taking over that is in charge of reality. It’s like you’re caught up in this treadmill, and you can’t ever get anywhere. You could say for a child, what frequently happens is the parent is invested in slowing the child down, limiting the child in order to keep them in the frame-of-reference the parents can handle, and away from what the parents experience as out of control. So the parents might try to control the child by saying, ‘You’ve got to do this. You can’t do this until you do that. You can’t do this until you do this.’ But the child can’t make sense of it himself, because the parent is not really relating to what the child wants to do. The parent has a different agenda. So the child’s focus becomes appeasing the parent before he can do what he wants to do, rather than relating to his goal directly. So if the parents insist on being in control, they are forcing the child to go through them, rather than allowing the child to be directly in experience.
Being directly in experience is very exciting. You just get into the thing, because you see what’s next and you see what’s in front of you. You see the whole thing and it’s all very alive. But if you are following some internal symbolic authority who is droning on, and saying, “OK, now you have to do this next logical thing. And you have to take this next physical step. This is the way you’re supposed to do it. This is the way I tell you you’re supposed to do it, and they just drone on and on and on, because that external authority is just trying to control things, rather than help you get to the goal.”
The limiting decision Bennet cleared during the TimeLine Process: “Those in authority have power over him.”
The first event in which Bennet made this decision: He was about 5 years old. He and his brother were poking a frog with a stick. Bennet was very curious about the frog and was not trying to hurt it. But their mother beat the boys for doing it.
Transcript excerpt of Jane’s teachings during the process: “It appears the reason your mother beat you is that she made an assumption about what you and your brother were trying to do, perhaps that you were being mean or trying to hurt the frog. But you were coming from a place of curiosity, of trying to understand something about the frog, which was apparently fascinating to you. So your objective wasn’t to hurt the frog. It was to find out about it.
So there is a continuum, when you really connect with the reality situation, which in this case, was your fascination with this creature. There is a reality continuum that if you follow, you can be supported by the universe, and therefore by the people around you. It’s not an against thing. It’s a positive thing. Now if, instead, you were functioning from an unhealed issue, if you were trying to torture the frog, for instance, then it goes against the flow of life, and you’d probably find resistance from different places, starting with inside yourself. So then you would find that there would be things blocking you. But if you are in the flow of life, following a true interest and passion, then the universe will support you. And it will come out in relation to people. But you made a limiting decision that those in authority have power over you, not understanding the true dynamics of what was actually happening and just thinking, ‘This is an unreasonable authority with her own agenda, and she’s taking over, she’s controlling me, and this is just the way it is in life.’ But no, it was a particular scenario, a scenario in which neither of you really understood where the other was coming from, on a human level — which takes it out of the authority power situation and brings it back to the human level. Your mother was a human being functioning from her own perspective (including apparently responding from a dysfunctional place), and responding from that; and you were a human being responding from your own perspective.
So, because of your limited understanding of what was happening, and your limited experience in life, you made the limiting decision about the nature of authorities in relationship to you — not realizing it was a misunderstanding, limited to this specific scenario, and not accurate about your relationship with authority in general.”
