Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings during the “Shifting into Your New Consciousness” Group Experience 4-30-09
(Participants’ names have been changed to protect their privacy.)
(To Anita) “There is some defense system you have that gives people the impression that you don’t approve of them, that you’re judging them. This is something that several people in the group have given you feedback about, so it’s not just about the other person. It’s something that you’re doing that pushes people away. The purpose of your defense system is to push people away. It has the result that you, on an unconscious level, are trying to have.
It may feel confusing to you because, perhaps most of the time, it’s not what you actually say, it’s the energy that’s coming from you. People feel as though you’re being critical whether you’re actually saying something critical or not. The first thing you told me before you even got into the group is that your friends tend to get triggered by you, and so this is probably what that’s about.”
(In response to Anita thinking this is about who she is.) ”No, it’s not about who you are. It’s your defense system. I bring up what people’s defense systems are, so we can get under them to who you really are. But you have a limiting decision against who you are, which is the reason you keep hiding behind your defense system. What you heard is that people are talking about you, rather than understanding that people are talking about your defense system. Understanding that distinction makes the difference between whether you feel safe or not safe. There’s a whole area of communication that you misinterpret in a way that goes against yourself. You’re interpreting things against yourself so rapidly, that it’s hard to catch it in the moment. So we need to slow the process down and get you to reveal more and more how you are actually thinking about what is happening.”
(To the Group) “Once we penetrate past the defensive response — which happens in the group when other people become aware of your defense system — then what comes up is your limiting decision, which is a negative and mistaken decision against yourself and the nature of life. It’s the limiting decision that you have been trying to avoid and cover over by the defense system. And when this decision against yourself starts getting exposed, and you find out that people’s response to the undefended you is radically different and more positive than you thought it would be, it’s very transformational. This enables you to come into the present moment. And then you can be a channel. Then the divine can flow through you.”
(Cherrie told the group that last night she was with a male friend at a bar and she drank herself into oblivion, and called a woman a bitch, and then slammed the door on her way out of the bar. This is unusual behavior for her and she’s wondering if it had to do with what happened in the group the last time when Renee had questioned Cherrie smiling all of the time as not being genuine, and did a mocking imitation of it.)
(To Cherrie) “I don’t know if this smile thing is a real issue or not. But I do think that you have not been engaging. And the smile thing could relate to that. Engaging brings you right into the heart between the two poles of a dynamic we’ve been working on with you. The one where you give yourself away and get trampled on, when you’re really trying to connect with someone; and then the other thing you do, especially in your relationships with men, when you’re out there playing this invulnerable game, where you feel on top and are winning in some way. It’s all a part of a defense system you have for getting yourself accepted without being genuine and actually available.”
(Further discussion)
“The issue is you have been depending upon this smile, this way of covering things over, as a way to win people over to be friends for you. Then Renee punctured it. And she really punctured it hard by making fun of you and mocking you. Probably anything less than that wouldn’t have gotten through. And then soon after that you were at the bar and were smiling and being friendly toward a woman, in an effort to be friends with her, and she rejected you. So this system for getting people to accept you didn’t work in that situation, and it didn’t work in the group.
Now the smiling, if it’s what it appears to be, is a way of giving yourself away, basically saying, ‘It doesn’t matter what’s happening to me. Everything is fine. It doesn’t matter if I’m giving myself away or I’m devaluing myself, or someone is stepping on me. It doesn’t matter. Everything is fine.’ That’s what the smile means. As long as you’re smiling and as long as you can sweep everything under the rug, you can pretend that you are fine. You’ve been absorbing all of this pain, and you’ve been giving away your power by doing this, in order to get people to engage with you. And so if you’ve been doing this, sucking it up, devaluing yourself, but you don’t get the engaging, then the full impact of what you’ve been doing to yourself, comes home. And it could certainly result in you feeling very angry, or even feeling betrayed.”
(Cherrie was saying she’s wondering what kind of monster she is that rages and drinks herself into oblivion and calls someone a bitch.)
“This reminds me of what came out last week, that you are holding yourself back because you don’t want to appear too aggressive or you’re afraid you would dominate the group. So you’re holding your power back in order to not do that, which means you’re afraid of your power and what you would be like. Perhaps you use the smile to cover over your real responses. So both you and Renee are going through a very similar thing. You both are afraid that if you express yourself or reveal where you really are, you would be some kind of a monster.”
