Transformational Teachings from Counselor Jane Ilene Cohen

Transcript Excerpt of Jane’s Teachings
during Janine’s NLP TimeLine Therapy Session 4-6-09

(For information about TimeLine Therapy, click here.)

(For Janine functioning is very difficult. She does everything very slowly, and gets very little done in relation to the effort she puts out. She spends a lot of time on her appearance, and on doing things in a way that will look good to others.)

It appears you are not directly relating to whatever you are doing. You are not directly participating in life. Instead you are doing an intermediary step, where there is someone else imagined in the picture who is judging you, and you are meeting their criteria with every step you take, to make sure it’s good enough, from that outer judgment. And so you are relating to them, rather than the actual thing you are supposedly doing.

(Janine was saying she feels not good enough.) Not good enough for who? Not good enough for what? Who is judging that? There’s some external standard you are relating to and trying to satisfy that has nothing to do with your direct experience and therefore causing you to not function well.

(Janine easily feels overwhelmed when she has too much to do and for other unclear reasons. Janine said her mother also gets overwhelmed. They both try to hold back feeling overwhelmed.) The feeling of overwhelm that your mother was holding back was being overwhelmed by truth, by life. Both of your parents were holding in place how they should react to life, which didn’t coincide with how they actually did react to life. Your mother was trying to hold back who she is, her actual responses. And the effect that life would have on her, which would bring truth to the table, is very different than the ridged ideology and moral rigidity that your parents were holding in place. So basically they used constantly working, and every second occupying their consciousness, to hold in place this other frame-of-reference, in order to hold back truth. So it’s not that life is overwhelming, it’s the trying to hold back truth that is overwhelming. It can’t be done. And it shouldn’t be done. There is no benefit from holding back life from affecting and changing and transforming and evolving you.

The thing you are holding back is letting life engage with you, so it will bring you true experience, rather than the rigidity that your mother was hell-bent in holding in place. Her father before her was apparently doing that also, which ended up in him having a nervous break down.

But you are perfectly capable of letting life affect you. You are an evolutionary step further than your mother was. You are not wanting to hold in place the ridged belief system that she held in place. You are ready for a more evolved experience of life. The fear of being overwhelmed by truth is a leftover from her. It has nothing to do with you. You are not invested as she was in holding in place a ridged ideology. The truth is you can’t combat truth from overwhelming you. It’s supposed to overwhelm you because it’s supposed to transform you. It’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. It frees you.”