Fear of Not Fitting In
Transcript Excerpts of Jane’s Teachings during the
“Shifting into Your New Consciousness” group experience 4/16/09
(Names of participants are changed to protect their privacy.)
” … With both Janet and Renee there’s a similar quality. You’re both originals. And it’s a question of valuing that. You (Janet) were wondering whether what you said to Renee was appropriate or not. It was truth. Truth is always appropriate in this group. And you don’t value the truth that comes through you, because it’s not like something someone else says. If you do things that are different than the way the world does things, you think there is something wrong with it. But the truth is, that’s your gift. And the reason you like Renee so much is because she is one of a kind as well.
‘Inappropriate,’ from your point-of-view, is that it is a unique thought that you in particular have, an original thought that is not like what anyone else has. It’s not in Webster’s dictionary. It’s something that comes uniquely from you, and you can’t help it because that’s just the way you are. You can’t take two steps without doing something that is original. And that is a gift.”
(To Aaron who asked Renee in what way she sees herself as not fitting in, which Renee was just talking about, in the context of feeling inappropriate.) “I think that’s particularly of interest to you who are also an original and are trying to figure out some way to make yourself be like everyone else, and having a really difficult time, because it just doesn’t work. The mask you have developed is a result of trying to find some way to not be ‘inappropriate.’”
(Jocelyn is saying she views herself as a maverick.) “A maverick is a person who is in a power-struggle in some way. That would make the uniqueness or originality, that you are, come out in a way that other people would have a defensive response to. So that’s where the conflict comes in. Wherever there’s a power-struggle, it’s going to cause conflict. And you’re confused about that. You think that it is the uniqueness in you that causes the conflict. No, it’s not. It’s the power-struggle that causes the conflict, not the uniqueness. And you have, perhaps, felt that you had to be in a power-struggle in order to feel free to express the uniqueness in you. There’s a significant limiting decision in there.”
(To Renee) “It sounds as though you are so afraid of being different or unique because if you really allowed that full expression, you would be so far off the map, you wouldn’t have any way to connect with anyone. But the way people connect with others is through love, which has nothing to do with giving up your uniqueness. Love is universal and you don’t have to be the same as others to connect with love. So I’m saying to your unconscious mind, ‘It doesn’t matter how unique, how different, what different expressions you have inside yourself and how different you are from other people. Love is the common denominator, and you always have access to that. What keeps you from love are the limiting decisions and the fear. But that is still the truth in you. It doesn’t matter how different you are, you are still love. And when you get past the defense systems and limiting decisions, nothing can take that true connection away from you.’
(Renee is saying she doesn’t understand what love means. She doesn’t feel connected to love.) This is the issue for you. If you are really disconnection from love, that’s the reason you feel disconnected in general. That’s the reason why this other stuff you’ve been talking about is a problem for you, why you feel afraid to feel your differentness — because you feel disconnected fundamentally. That’s where the problem is, not you being different. The limiting decisions is probably some form of that you’re all alone. It’s not clear yet.”
